


How To Bug Your Roommate

by HapaxLegomenon



Series: The Adventures of Sousuke and The Beetle [4]
Category: Free!
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Bugs & Insects, Challenge: Sports Anime Shipping Olympics | SASO 2015, Gen, Momo is enthusiastic, Nitori is suffering, Pyunsuke is adorable
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-07
Updated: 2015-09-07
Packaged: 2018-04-19 11:43:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4745066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HapaxLegomenon/pseuds/HapaxLegomenon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nitori likes his roommate.  Really, he does.  He just doesn’t like Momo’s hobbies.</p><p>Or: Nitori’s side of the story, up to the events of “Home Is Where The Bug Is.”</p><p>Edit and re-post from SASO2015 BR4</p>
            </blockquote>





	How To Bug Your Roommate

**Author's Note:**

> I just learned that "Pyunsuke & Yamazaki Sousuke" is an official Ao3 "Relationships" tag now and my night has been made.
> 
> Edited slightly and re-posted from an entry written for the SASO 2015 Bonus Round 4.

Nitori was genuinely surprised by how much he enjoyed Momotarou’s company. For one, even if he’d never admit it out loud, he did get a little thrill every time Momo called him “senpai”. He’d never been a senpai before and the novelty of it had yet to wear off. But even on a more personal level, despite the fact Momo was loud and obnoxious and not always the brightest bulb in the box, he was also friendly and competitive and dedicated and just a genuinely kind person, and Nitori had always appreciated (and, perhaps, admired) those sorts of people.

It was also nice that Momo took the top bunk. Nitori had fallen off of the bed far too many times during the last year, trying to go to the bathroom when he was only half-awake in the middle of the night and trying not to disturb Rin. Although he did still occasionally jam his toes or scare himself by trying to jump down from his lower bunk. Really, he just couldn’t win.

But, all in all, Momo was a good roommate. They were good friends, and it was nice, having someone friendly to talk to, after months of living with a sullen Rin. Rin might complain, when he visited his old room, that Nitori and Momo were too chatty and too messy, but even he could tell that “You two are good for each other,” said with a grin and a hard, affectionate head-rub that always messed up Nitori’s perfectly-combed hair.

Yep. Overall, Nitori did like living with Momo.

Except for one thing.

Momo liked to collect creepy animals – Nitori didn’t even know where he found them half the time, and, really, he probably didn’t want to know anyway – and he liked to proudly show them off to anyone he could find. Especially Nitori. And Nitori wasn’t an animal person. He liked cats, and bunnies, and small, calm dogs, but that was it. If he didn’t ever have to see any other kind of animal for the rest of his life, he’d be perfectly happy. And it was a tragedy, in his opinion, that Momo had the opposite view. Especially because Momo’s favourite animals were the creepy, crawly, slimy ones, like snails and spiders and even once a terrifyingly large bullfrog that he’d chased Nitori around with for nearly half an hour until Rin finally stopped laughing and stepped in and made Momo let the frog go – unfortunately not soon enough to stave off an alarming dream Nitori’d had that night wherein he was a series of flies being eaten by progressively larger and more demonic-looking toads.

Still, at least that was bearable.

The absolute worst was when Momo decided to bring his captures back to their room. 

Nitori returned to their room one evening, exhausted after extra practice alone and ready for bed, only to jump when something moved in the corner of his eye, and to jump again and screech when he realized it was a very large, very slimy-looking thing in a jar of dirt. It was huge and lumpy and a sickly off-white colour with a bulbous, red-orange head and pincers and stubby legs and it looked exactly like something he’d seen in a movie once, some kind of crazy, evil alien that crawled in people’s ears and took over their brains and made them do crazy, evil things. He wanted to throw up. It was so gross and squirmy and it was just sitting there on Momo’s desk and where in God’s name was Momo, anyway, and – 

And Nitori was in the midst of completely freaking out when Momo finally came back from his shower, curled up in a little ball on the floor beside his bed and staring, unblinking and wide-eyed, at the jar of dirt, praying that it would disappear or that he was having a bad dream or that Rin would magically show up and rescue him from the monster that dwelled within.

Instead, though, he got “Nitori-senpai? Why are you on the floor?”

“Momo-kun,” he said, trying to keep his voice level. “What… what is that?”

“Hm?” Momo blinked, looking around the room for whatever was out of place, before apparently realizing that there was an alien in a jar on his desk, and instead of panicking like any logical person would do, when faced with a brain-stealing alien, his entire face lit up and he grabbed the jar eagerly.

Nitori nearly had a heart attack on the spot.

“Ah! This? This is Pyunsuke! Senpai, senpai, look! Isn’t he beautiful?” Momo gushed, holding the jar out towards Nitori and not even blinking when Nitori skittered away across the floor in terror. “I found him out behind the school, look look, he’s really big for a stag beetle larva, so I named him after Yamazaki-senpai! I want him to grow up to be big and strong just like senpai is. I’m so excited! I have to go buy some jelly and thermometers and lamps so I can raise him up with love and care and then I’m going to give him to Gou-san and she’ll be so impressed, she’ll have to go on a date with me for sure, it’s going to be so great, Nitori-senpai!”

All through Momo’s babbled speech, Nitori’s stomach dropped further and further until it felt like it was hanging somewhere around his ankles. He was definitely going to be sick. Momo was treating this thing like a pet, like he was going to keep it, and Nitori didn’t think his heart would be able to take living with that thing, it just wouldn’t.

“E-excuse me,” he stuttered, getting shakily to his feet and skirting a wide circle around Momo and the larva. Then he stumbled down the hall to the bathroom, threw up twice, and tearfully requested to spend the night in Rin’s room.

To his horror, he couldn’t persuade Rin to make Momo get rid of the bug – “Calm down, Ai, it’s harmless, and it’s in a jar. It’ll be fine. Just make him keep it away from your side of the room. You’ll get used to it.”

Nitori was absolutely positive that he absolutely would not get used to it.

But he did, sort of. It was fine when the thing wasn’t moving around, and when he couldn’t see it, and when Momo wasn’t talking about it – all of which occurred with a depressing lack of frequency. As long as Nitori didn’t have to think about the bodysnatching larva living in his bedroom it was fine. He was fine.

He wasn’t usually fine.

The few weeks that the beetle was pupating were some of the best weeks of the entire year. The larva dug itself into the dirt so it was hidden from sight and just stayed there. It was wonderful. Momo was excited, and talked about – and to – it constantly, but at least Nitori didn’t have to see the thing at all. And even when it emerged from the dirt as a moist, orangish, spikey blob, through the ringing in his ears Nitori faintly accepted that at least this incarnation was less repulsive than the larva had been. And Momo was so proud and excited that even Nitori couldn’t help getting caught up in the emotion, just a little bit.

Having an adult stag beetle living in his bedroom was better than the larval form, but only just. This one wasn’t as gross but it was much louder, and it startled him constantly when it would whir its wings experimentally or tap its antlers against the glass of the jar.

It was a good thing his hair was already grey, really.

Then, finally, Momo declared the beetle ready to be given as a gift (Nitori felt so sorry for Rin’s unsuspecting sister) and finally, finally, the long-awaited day arrived – it was time for Pyunsuke to go.

It was such a relief. Nitori would finally be able to relax in his own room again. 

The relief was short-lived, however, when he learned that Sousuke had somehow intercepted the gifting of the beetle and then decided to keep it for himself, and so now it was living just down the hall in an old fish tank. At least it wasn’t in his room anymore, Nitori supposed, but now it was in Rin’s, and that wasn’t a whole lot better. Nitori liked spending time with Rin, especially this year, now that Rin seemed to enjoy spending time with him, too, and he was annoyed that this beetle had gone and invaded not only his bedroom, but his escape sanctuary as well. It was completely unfair.

And at least Momo had generally kept the thing in its jar, and left it in their room. Sousuke had no qualms about taking it with him everywhere, letting it ride on his shoulder, and somehow Nitori never quite remembered to expect it and it was always an extremely unpleasant surprise. It didn’t help that Sousuke’s height meant that his shoulder was right at Nitori’s eye level, and so the beetle was always right in front of his face, staring him down and clacking its jaw menacingly. It was terrible.

Nitori never really thought about how much worse it could be until one afternoon before his senpai was going to go home for a few days, and Sousuke showed up at his door with the beetle on his shoulder, saying, “Hey Momo. Will you look after him for the weekend?”

Nitori spent the weekend in Rin’s room.

**Author's Note:**

> Talk fandom to me on Twitter at [@paxlegomenon](https://twitter.com/paxlegomenon).


End file.
